Funny Jokes

A man died and went to Heaven. After reaching the gates to
Heaven the man was talking with Saint Peter and he asked, “I know I
was good during my life, and I really appreciate being brought to
Heaven, but I’m really curious… What does Hell look like?”
So Saint Peter thought about it a moment and finally said, “I’ll tell
you what, I’ll let you see what Hell looks like before you are
officially entered into Heaven. Come with me.” And so Saint Peter lead
the man to an elevator and said, “Take this elevator to the very
bottom floor. When the door opens you will see what Hell looks like,
but whatever you do, do not get out of the elevator.”
The man said “Thank you” and then climbed into the elevator and hit
the button for the lowest floor. After nearly an hour waiting in the
elevator the doors opened and the man peered out. Before him was a
lifeless frozen wasteland. All the man could see were huge mountains
of ice through blankets of snow. Remembering what Saint Peter said,
the man quickly pushed the button for the top floor, the doors closed
and he traveled back up to Heaven.
After returning to Heaven the man approached Saint Peter and said,
“I’m ready to enter into Heaven now, but before I do I have just one
more question.” “Go ahead”, replied Saint Peter, and so the man asked,
“I thought Hell would be fire and brimstone, but instead all I saw was
snow and ice. Is that what it’s really like?”
Saint Peter thought about this for a second and finally answered,
“Snow and ice, huh. I guess the Denver Broncos finally won the Super
Bowl !!”

Two friends, John & Jerry were on vacation in the isles of Fiji. While there they decided to go out fishing. They rented a boat and left before sunrise.

The sun was now shining directly down on their heads and they realized that they’d been out at sea for nearly 4 hrs.

Jerry turns around and says, “So much for the great fishing spot! I think I’m ready to head in!”

John points east and replies, “Well, let’s just try casting over there.”

Jerry agrees and not long after they started hauling in loads and loads of fish.

Jerry gets a look of glee on his face shouts out to John, “This is the best fishing spot ever!”

“I know”, says John. “We should definitely mark this place.

“Don’t worry,” says Jerry, “I’ll mark it down.”

As they head back to shore, John asks Jerry how he marked their fishing spot.

Jerry answers, “Well I marked the side of the boat! Right here, see, a red cross!”

John gets a surprised look turns to his friend and says, “That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! What if we don’t take out the same boat tomorrow!”

Albert arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he
sees and asks, What is your IQ? to which the man answers, 241. That
is wonderful!, says Albert. We will talk about the Grand Unification
Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!
Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, What is your IQ? to
which the lady answers, 144. That is great!, responds Albert. We can
discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!
Albert goes to another person and asks, What is your IQ? to which the
man answers, 51. Albert responds, How about them, Cowboys?