Funny Jokes

NFL Complaints

After shooting the blank gun to end the half, the Dallas Cowboy players start shooting back with live ammunition.

Calling “heads or tails” but never getting any. . . “head” or “tail”.

Players get “the wave”. . . refs get “the finger”.

Anyone who makes a call against the Detroit Lions risks pissing off their last remaining fan.

With Reggie White retired, the penalty for “Illegal use of a racial slur” is meaningless.

Just when we thought it was safe to be an NFL Ref, we have to go back to frickin’ CLEVELAND!!!

Thanks to instant replay, picking nose during a game is twice as risky.

Everyone else gets to wear their Autumn colors, but for me it’s black and white week after week after week!

Don King only bribes boxing judges.

Official rule books not made in Braille.

I’m the one that everybody wants to kill, so where’s MY helmet and pads?!

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed… driving his partner nuts.

Finally his exasperated partner says, ‘What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!’

The guy answers, ‘My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.’

‘Give me a break! You don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here.’

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

“I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents, ” she said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’”