Funny Jokes

A man applied to Sheffield Wednesday FC for a job on the administrative staff.
‘What we’re really looking for here,’ said the chairman, ‘is what you might call
a “chief worrier”!
Someone to worry about things like falling attendances, finances, league
promotion, violence on the terraces, and so on. For a chap like that we’d be
prepared to pay £100,000 a year. Interested?’
‘Certainly,’ said the applicant.
‘But – you’ll pardon me for saying this, I hope – where on earth is Sheffield
Wednesday going to find that sort of money for a job like this?’
‘Ah!’ said the chairman. ‘That would be your first worry.’

Q: What’s the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman hollering on the back porch?
A: If you let them both inside, the dog will stop barking.

What a woman says: “This place is a mess C’mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you’ll have no clothes to wear, if we don’t do laundry right now!”What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C’mon blah, blah, blah, blah, you and I blah, blah, blah, blah, on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah, no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah, right now !