Funny Jokes

As a young man, Norton was an exceptional golfer. At the age
of 26, however, he decided to become a priest, and joined a
rather peculiar order. He took the usual vows of poverty,
chastity, but his order also required that he quit golf and
never play again. This was particularly difficult for Norton,
but he agreed and was finally ordained a priest.

One Sunday morning, the Reverend Father Norton woke up and
realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early
spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick
and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as
the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out
of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he
knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from
his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was
Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this
time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down
from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him
get away with this, are you?”

The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not.”

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight
towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and
fell into the hole. It WAS A 420-YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked,
“Why did you let him do that?” The Lord smiled and replied,
“Who is he going to tell?”

Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following
conversation took place:
First Guy: You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every
room in the house next weekend.

Second Guy: That’s nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build
her a new deck for the pool.

Third Guy: Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I
will remodel the kitchen for her.

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has
not said a word. So they ask him, You haven’t said anything about what
you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What’s the deal?

Fourth Guy: I just set my alarm for 5:30a.m., When it goes off, I shut
off my alarm, give the wife a budge and say, ‘Golf Course or Intercourse?’
So she says, Wear your sweater.

Did you hear about the local country club that was determined to be politcally correct?Instead of saying the golfers have handicaps, they say they’re stroke-challenged!