Funny Jokes

The class discussion centered on the university’s coed dorms.
While the professor said this cohabitation of men and women
reflected the newer generation’s relaxed ethical standards,
many students disagreed. Finally one student asked, “You mean
you never walked into a woman’s dorm after hours when you were
in college?

“Never,” the teacher replied firmly. “I had to climb in through
the window.”

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature product announcement based on over-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
19. See step 2

12. Every time you hit the space bar, hundreds of Ritz crackers fly out of the CD-ROM drive.

11. The so-called “help” file is really just a collection of lame “Chicken Soup for the Soul” anecdotes.

10. Refuses to install new programs until you’ve achieved “clear” status.

9. You hit “delete” and the guy in the next cubicle is instantly transported to Albuquerque.

8. In the middle of your fastest game of Minefield yet, the Stephen Hawking office assistant pops up and says, “It looks like you’re trying to arrive at a Unified Field Theory. Can I help you?”

7. Incorrect installation of printer drivers launches a nuclear strike against France.

6. Dreaded “Blue Screen of Death” replaced by less fearsome “Hamster Dance Screen of Death.”

5. Too easy to win new “Whack-a-Reno” game.

4. Default search options include “Body Cavity Search.”

3. Replaces hilarious, intellectual, pithy Top5 list items with crude junior high school humor.

2. Any time you empty the Recycle Bin, NASA loses another Mars Lander.

1. Changes “.gov” domain to “.bite-me” domain every time.