Funny Jokes

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

“House” in French, is feminine -”la maison,” “Pencil” in French, is masculine “le crayon.”

One puzzled student asked, “What gender is computer?” The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary.

So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men’s group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (”la computer”), because

1.No one but their creator understands their internal logic
2.The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
3.Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review
4.As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheque on accessories for it.
The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine “le computer”) because:

1.In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2.They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves
3.They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem
4.As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model

Glossary of Product Terminology

NEW: Different colors from previous version.

ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version.

UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition.

ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn’t understand it.

NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix.

BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try.

DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on a shoe-string budget.

UPGRADED: Did not work the first time.

UPGRADED AND IMPROVED: Did not work the second time. The Dumpty Dictionary, Version 2.0

The world’s first fully computerised airliner was ready for its maiden flight with out pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the
steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.

The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman,” a voice intoned as the airplane lifted off. “Welcome to the debut of the world’s first fully computerised airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run
electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong……..nothing can go wrong……nothing can go wrong……”