Business Jokes

Question and Answer

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. ——————————————————————————–Bentley’s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist! ——————————————————————————–Berta’s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. “The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.” ——————————————————————————–Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist. ——————————————————————————–Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!” ——————————————————————————–Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?A: Too early to say.——————————————————————————–Q: What do economists and computers have in common?A: You need to punch information into both of them.——————————————————————————–Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.——————————————————————————–Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck? A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool. ——————————————————————————–NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Newlan’s Truism: An “acceptable” level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. ——————————————————————————–Q: Why did the market economist cross the road? A: To reach the consensus forecast. ——————————————————————————–Q: What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates? A: Deflator mouse ——————————————————————————–Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: It depends on the wage rate. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb? A: I’m writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years.——————————————————————————–Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb? A: None – the market has already discounted the change. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb? A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the aggregate demand to the right.——————————————————————————–Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None – the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution. ——————————————————————————–When drawing up the guest list for a dinner party, inviting more than 25% economists ruins the conversation. ——————————————————————————–Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.——————————————————————————–Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven plus or minus ten.——————————————————————————–Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Irrelevant – the light bulb’s preferences are to be taken as given. ——————————————————————————–Q: What’s the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer’s? A: The economist is the one with the calculator. ——————————————————————————– Read the rest of this entry »

Poem about Economics

If you do some acrobatics with a little mathematics it will take you far along. If your idea’s not defensible don’t make it comprehensible or folks will find you out, and your work will draw attention if you only fail to mention what the whole thing is about. Your must talk of GNP and of elasticity of rates of substitution and undeterminate solution and oligonopopsony.

Paying in advance

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. “Oh, about $200 today,” said the rancher. “But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I’m out.” The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. “Here,” he said, “is the check for $900. It’s postdated six years from now

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