Funny Jokes

A sloth calls the police to report that he was attacked and robbed by a gang of turtles. When the police ask him to describe the attack, he replies:

“I…..Doooon’t…..knoooow…
It… all… happened….. soooooo … fasssst…..”

There once was 3 fish (the mom,dad,son) who needed a place to sleep.The mom slept in the kitchen sink.The dad slept in the the bathtub.The son slept in the toilet.The next morning the dad asked the mom how her night was.”Okay, but it was a little too small, said the mom” The mom asked the dad how his night was.”Just fine. There was a lot of room to swim,” said the dad.The dad asked his son how his night was.”Horrible!!”, said the son. It was raining scat and logs all night long!!”

A lady who was very lonesome bought a parrot from a pet store, complete with cage. Before purchasing it she got a guarantee that the parrot would talk.She took the parrot home. In a week and a half she returned to the store very disappointed. “The parrot doesn’t talk.”"Did you buy a mirror?” “No.” “Every parrot needs a mirror. “So she bought a mirror and installed it in the parrot’s cage. Another week and a half went by and she returned. “The parrot still doesn’t talk.” “Did you buy a ladder?” “No.” “Every parrot needs a ladder.”So she bought a ladder and installed it in the cage. Another week and a half passed and she returned.”The parrot still doesn’t talk.”"Did you buy a swing?”"No.”"Every parrot needs a swing.”So she bought a swing and installed it in the cage. A week and a half later she returned. She was furious! The store owner asked, “Did the parrot talk?”"No!, he died.”"Oh, that’s terrible. Did he say anything before he died?”"Yes.”"What?”"He gasped ‘Don’t they have any food down at that store?’”