The amazing flying dog

A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she’s trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, “I’ve got just the thing for you madam. I’ll just get him.”With that, he disappears into the back of the shop, and returns a few seconds later with a cute little puppy. “This dog is a special dog,” he tells her. “It is able to fly,” he explains, and with that throws the dog into the air. It immediately begins to float gracefully around the shop.”There is one problem with him, however. Whenever you say ‘my’, he’ll eat whatever you’ve mentioned. Watch. “My apple!” The lady watches in astonishment as the dog zooms over to the shop attendant and furiously devours an apple he has produced from his pocket.”He’s cute, and so unusual. I’ll take him,” she says, and a few minutes later she is on her way back home with dog to show her husband.”Darling, look what a clever pet I bought today!” she exclaims when she gets back home. “He can fly!”
The husband peers at the dog, and then remarks, “Fly eh? Ha! My foot!”

Cow on train tracks

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.”What’s going on?” she yells out the window.”Cow on the track!” replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, “What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?”

Beautiful Sentence

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, teacher asked students to raise their hand up who can make use of the word “beautiful” twice in the same sentence.

First, she called on little Tom, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.” “Very good, Tom,” replied the teacher.

She then called on little Jack. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said. “Excellent, Jack!”

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. “Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful, …just f*cking beautiful!

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